While serious athletics are pretty much out of the question at RISD, students definitely have fun with what they’ve got. Imagine parents’ weekend, where half the campus is drunk and yelling obscenities at a team of completely bewildered ice-hockey players while a giant penis in a cape (Scrotie, the mascot) leads cheers from the sidelines. Often, the Jockstraps (cheerleading team) will rouse the RISD crowd into heckling some players so badly that fights ensue. Another rallying move is when Scrotie tries to ram the goalposts tip-first—some images really are worth 1,000 words. Once in a while, there will be a scandal during which Scrotie is kidnapped by an unnamed group. The ransom demands that all ice hockey players (the Nads) skate around the rink after the game in their underwear in order to retrieve their precious mascot. The following drawn-out drama will be involved and scandalous in order to fill the stands. The Nads sometimes score on themselves, but on the off chance that you do see them win, it’s not only a blast, but it’s totally priceless to see the look on the other teams’ faces. Nobody wants to get beaten by the Nads.
The Balls—the basketball team—is a slightly different experience. There is no obscene mascot or profane cheerleading team, and most games appear to be fairly average, but the advertising is uniquely RISD. While walking across campus, you may encounter several posters of RISD's beloved president nonchalantly cradling two basketballs to his chest and solemnly urging the RISD community to “Support Your Balls.” RISD sports gets an A for amusement.